I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Randomize
