That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Randomize
