Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
I would fuck him just for his dog
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
Randomize
