Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
Randomize
