go do what you do best...puke behind churches
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Randomize
