I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
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he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
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Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize