The producers of Marley and Me owe me about $5 million. That's the dollar amount of embarrassment compensation required for making a 24-year-old male cry publicly on an airplane while sitting in the middle seat between a gorgeous babe and a guy with a do-rag
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
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