Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
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