chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
And my parents said I crawled through the house
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Randomize