How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
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you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
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there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
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