have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
Randomize
