She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
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