I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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