well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
Randomize
