meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
Randomize
