I called the bartender Mr. Intoxication last night. He thought it was funny until i threw up and blamed it on him
But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Randomize