i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
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