Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
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There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize