I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
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someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
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Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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