Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
Randomize
