She's JV to your varsity
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
Randomize
