We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
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