i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
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