You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
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