the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
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