You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
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