dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
He literally asked permission to hit on me
Randomize
