i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
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