i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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