omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
Randomize
