how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize
