no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
Randomize
