Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
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