My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
21 Guys Share Their Insane Stripper Stories
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
27 Reasons Why Men Need To Moan More During Sex
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.