Ketchup is God's man juice
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough