Umm I'm too high to move.
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?