I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
Randomize
