I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
Randomize
