I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
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