so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
