no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
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I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
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