I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
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