I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
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