I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Randomize
