I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
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