beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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