I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
I'm just crazy horny about you
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
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