i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
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