Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize
