come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
Randomize
