he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
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