hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
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