I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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