Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
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