You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
Randomize
