so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
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