i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
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